Letter to my loved Grandma

Dear Grandma,

It's been exactly twelve years now but, the wound is still fresh. Twelve years of your absence has not made our grieve and loss easier. Twelve year in which we learned to live without your unworldly care and love your each and everyone of your grandchildren, never favouring anyone and never neglecting anyone of us. Twelve years of never being able to hug you, kiss you and feeling your love. 

You had every sort of cereals for us because we liked different sorts. And every day after school I endet up in front of your place because I felt it was necessary to greet you first and then go home to mom. Sometimes I'd end up entail the evening at your place, homework done and having eaten toasted bread with cream cheese and cucumber and tomato slices. Those were really good times. I wouldn't have a care in the world, only being child and enjoying everything again after the dreadful bombs back at home. A home that was soon as far away as the moon but still through Grandpa's radio news very near. But you never let on how you really felt. Were you happy? Were you sad? Maybe I was too  much a child to notice and later you were too ill to care for anything else than your health issues. 

You never scolded us when we ran about screaming and shouting, drank in our playing and never observing enough to see that you were ill. You would be sitting on your bed and cover your ears because we were too loud but not telling us to be quiet because you couldn't bear the noise. I love you so much and it still hurts that you're gone. I still remember the days with the heartbreaking news for all of us. After a very long time though, you were free again. You left us and took a part of our heart with you. My heart is still there, where you are now.

Having been able to spend my childhood with you was such a blessing! You were the most giving person in the whole world, and never once did you expect anything in return. You were the most generous person, happy to make everyone else happy. You were the most loving person, supporting us with your love. You were the most forgiving person, forgiveness was your strength and teaching us how to be forgiving in awful situations. 

Dear Grandma, on this day I especially missed you and felt your absence really deep. I'm hoping that you are happy and content where you are. I'm hoping to be at your side one day, hugging you and kissing you feeling like a child again, having all your love shower over me again.

Love, your granddaughter,

Batul

Der Schaf im Wolfsfell oder der Wohltäter?

Hab mich entschieden, diesmal ein Post auf deutsch zu verfassen. 

Wer kennt diese Sprichwörter "Hochmut kommt vor dem Fall" oder "Hochmut tut selten gut" und diese sollte sich jeder gut einprägen. 

Unter den vielen Schafen gibt es immer einen Wolf im Schafsfell. Und wer hoch steigt, kann tief fallen. Ihr werdet merken, ich bin heute voller Sprüche, und zwar nicht weil ich ein großer Sprücheklopfer bin, sondern weil ich meine Gefühle und Gedanken in diesen Sprüchen vereinen kann. Was hat das ganze zu bedeuten und warum rede ich in Rätsel? Ihr fragt euch sicher, weshalb ich nach etwas längerer Zeit so plötzlich zurück bin und dann auch noch einen klugen Spruch nach den anderen bringe? Ich hab seit ein paar Wochen diese Organisation im Auge. Noch bin ich mir nicht sicher, ob ich dieser Gruppe beitrete oder es sein lasse. Erst hieß es, es ist eine Wohltätigkeitsorganisation, wurde dann zur "Non Profit Organidation" und mutierte schließlich zu einem Unternehmen mit jährlichen Einkommen von etwa einhunderttausend Euro (dies stellt sich der Vorstandsvorsitzende so vor). Ist das noch eine Wohltat, wenn man mit der Tätigkeit Geld verdient, oder ist es gerecht, dass die Mitglieder belohnt werden. Mehr zu dieser Organisation gibt's bei dem nächsten Post, bis dahin hab ich mich vielleicht entschieden, wie ich weiter machen sollte... Mitglied werden, oder aussteigen?

Haltet die Ohren steif, denn ohne Fleiß keinen Preis ;)

In diesem Sinne, einen schönen Abend an alle Leser ;)

BX

Monday-blues

Who loves books and never knows the classic "Pride and Prejudice" of the mother of the classic Ms Jane Austen? I personally love this book to pieces.

It's not just any book written by anyone. No! It's THE book written by the mother of classic, the sister of poetic and the friend of romance. Even though she herself never married. 

To be honest this book will always fit into society. If it's two centuries ago or now, there will always be someone as giving as Mr Darcy and as honest as Elizabeth, or as flatlout stupid as Mrs Bennett .... What do we learn from that book? I've learned that there is always the other side of the coin, people can act like sh*t (pardon my choice of word) but be kind and gentle from the inside and they act like that because of bad experience or some other tragic situation in their life. On the other side there are people who laugh in your face while stabbing you in the back with a dagger. Ok, that's a little exaggerated because no one was killed in Pride and Prejudice. But still, I mean it metaphorically. 

I have always wanted to be Elizabeth and find my Mr Darcy. It hasn't anything to do with him being rich but I wanted to find my other half, my soul mate, my love of the life... While waiting for Mr Darcy I totally forgot to live and maybe I missed the opportunity to find the person I was waiting for. Someone who I could have been with years ago but I couldn't recognise their value or didn't realise that it's him. You never know and thinking about it is of no use. At every step we take we make experience and that's what forms our lives. 

Somehow the last few weeks I wonder if destiny is playing us before giving in to it's way. May be yes, maybe no. 

Pride and Prejudice tought me a lot, but still I had to live my life! 

Right folks, that was my word to the beginning of the week ;) it was a little to the thoughtful side. Forgive me, it's Monday and I have had a rough weekend. 

Xoxo B. 

What happens in LA, stays in LA

One whole night, a few totally "overgrown and childish" guys and a lot of alcohol.... Yeah, you can imagine the impact these will create when shuffled together: Men's Night Out!

Follow Nate, Ashton and their friends through a no-girls-allowed-night. Laugh with them, cry with them and mostly have fun with them.
Kirsty Moseley, a relatively newcomer author from the UK, has achieved many great successes since her first publication. "One Wild Night" is a short novella containing all the characters from her previous books "Nothing Left to Lose" and "Enjoying the Chase" to be published on 15th August. 
Better than supporting Kirsty Moseley as a very talented Author is supporting her charity project where all the proceeds of this novella will be donated to a charity cause. The MacMillan Nurses need all our support to continue "the wonderful work they do", so Moseley on her website.

To the blog attached is a link where you can find this hilarious novella and many more books and story related items, from wrist bands to book marks to key chains. 
Check it out and enjoy it!

xoxo Sarah


One Wild Night by Kirsty Moseley

Annoying looks in the tube.... Don't you have something else to stare at?!?

Well, I suppose you all know it. You're running like crazy to catch the tube. Breathing heavy you snap the last seat in the tube and everyone's attention is for a moment at you. You look down and try to even your wheezing so it doesn't look like you're dying. After a minute and breathing half way normal you survey the people around you. No one is paying anymore attention, only in front of you is sitting someone - a young man with blue jeans, white sneakers and a red t-shirt - and this person stares at you as if you're an alien just making acrobats. What in the blazes ...? Do I have something sticking to my face? Probably the salad I had earlier wanted to decorate my face and now the person just noticed and wants me to understand without saying a word ... But it doesn't mean he has to stare at me like that. Not trying to be that obvious I touched my face to remove anything that doesn't belong there. Nothing is sticking to my face as far as I can feel. 

The battle begins, if you are so bold to challenge me, I think and stare back. But he pretends he does not look. So did I just imagine everything? Impossible! I look out the window, which honestly is in need of a good wash, and try to not notice the stares. I can't! Impatience spreads in me and I try to catch his look. From the corner of my eye I can see he is staring again. In a second I look to the right but only to turn my head and look the guy the eye. Ha! Got you, I think and give him my most evil don't-even-try-to-intimidate-me-look. Usually it works with everyone.

But the moment of my victory is very short because I'm trapped in the most gorgeous brown eyes I've ever seen. He is good looking all over. I just had seen his clothes and never made the attempt to actually him in the face.

Oh. My. God. How stupid of me. He gives me a small smile and gets to his feet. Oh my, is he trying to make small talk? I quickly avert my eyes, but have him still in my periphery.

He is coming nearer and is standing right in front of me. He bends down and his hot breath fans my ear and neck. I feel a shiver all over me. He is so hot! God, please can you open up the floor and let it swallow me? I mean right this instant... I was so embarrassed. 

"Next time someone wants to flirt with you, don't give him the killer looks!" He whispers and winks. 

Oh god, can I please die now?!?

I had my lecture, never assume everyone wants to harm you when he/she is looking at you. 

Xoxo S.

Beautiful Nice: part 3 - no comment

Well, everything that I have expected of Nice was nothing compared to what I've seen there. I expected the city to be beautiful. Well, at least the pictures I have googled earlier at home showed me a beautiful city. I was dead wrong about Nice being a beautiful city - because it was the most breath-taking and amazing city I've ever seen so far.

The azure blue water shining like little cristals, the panoramic view of the hills, the luxury showing in the small shops, and the people all totaly relaxed. And everywhere you see the "vélo bleu".

I fell in love with Nice. Instantly and completely in love.

Honestly the beach in Nice wasn't that good because there are only rocks and it gets very uncomfortable walking on really big rocks but the water was amazing! 

A M A Z I N G!!! So warm and clean and marvellous - and salty. Well it is to be expected from the sea to be salty, isn't it? Anyways, from the first sight to the first step into the water we totally fell in love. You can't change it, Nice pulls you under her spell and you have to love it. 

After a healthy sun bath and a good swim in the mild water we headed back to our hotel to change and discover the restaurants. 

Hopeful that our hunger would be stilled we looked at some of the menus, which looked affordable. There were plenty of good restaurants which weren't that expensive. 

To be continued....

Xoxo S.

Beautiful Nice: part 3 - finally there...

To be honest, at first I had a bad feeling. No hotel, no rental car, we weren't even in the right mood to be at a place such as Nice. I mean we were stuck at the airport for god's sake!

But the further the new day - which had begun sunny and warm - went, the better it got. The new morning brought good vibes and once we got the car (thank god the money was now on my account) the mood lifted slightly. But we were tired nonetheless. Haven't slept good in the last few nights the night without sleep didn't do good to our start in our holiday. 

Anyways, as we made our way into the city we were speechless. The beauty of the paradise in front of us and the unbelievingly blue water of the sea to our right didn't give us much space for talk.

Even at eight in the morning the streets and the promenade were crowded with people. Some were jogging alongside the beach, some were strolling with their dogs a slow pace and others were just cycling on their "vélo blue" on the promenade.

"Vélo blue" are blue bicycles which you can find in almost all the streets of Nice and which you can rent for a few hours or a whole day to discover beautiful Nice and the beaches around Nice. Wonderful! I thought and made a plan to rent a bike and cycle around a little. 

Finally our GPS directed us to our hotel. The four story building was hidden between two other hotels and had a few steps leading into the building.

The air condition cooled foyer contained a small sitting group on the one side next to an even smaller tv corner with a desk with books and behind that the breakfast parlour. On the other side the hotelier was sitting behind his desk. 

Thank god the man allowed us to park our car on the parking and I explained him our disastrous night. He was so kind and friendly that I wondered if Nice belonged to France? Why were people out here so nice? Maybe it was Nice *wink* ha ha ha

To be continued...

Xoxo S. 

Beautiful Nice: part 2 - night at the airport

The saying "time flys by" couldn't be more untrue to our encounter at the airport in Nice. After the disaster with my credit card (I didn't have the money on time on the account) we had to spend six hours in the lonely halls of the airport à Côte d'Azur. It didn't start very well for us.

Well, we weren't all by ourselves there because a few others were also spending the night at the airport. Unfortunately we didn't have anything useful to sleep. No blankets, no pillows, no nothing! Thinking that we might have been able to go to Saint-Tropez instead of sitting through the night on very uncomfortable chairs didn't help with the situation. 

Another four hours until the rental car office opened .... 

And I couldn't even blame them. French people are often very impolite and unfriendly. But this time the two guys behind the counter were the most friendly French guys I've ever seen. The two most polite people I've ever come across on French territory. So could I be able to be a bitch and make a scene when it's not their fault?

At three in the morning one of my friend and I went to the nearby hotels (there was Novotel and ibis budget hotel) to ask for a room. But with no luck! All the hotels were fully booked.

Still three hours to kill.... Why does time creep like a snail?!? 

Hopefully the next morning we would have at least the car. 

Xoxo S.

Beautiful Nice - part 1: horror in paradise

Oh. My. God. That was my first thought when the gut behind the desk of the car rental told me that my credit card won't work. What the....

Please just try it again, I asked sweetly and crossed mentally my fingers. Hopefully it works the second time - but no! Even the tenth time my card was declined. But why? Apparently there isn't enough on my account, which is not possible... 

To be continued... 

Xoxo S. 

Shopping tours and delicious chips

Yesterday was one hell of a day; but in a good sense actually. It started bad and the further the day went on the better it got.... First thing in the morning I had an appointment and it was really tiring. Then I rushed back home and had breakfast with my cousin. After a good breakfast we went to Frankfurt City for shopping, yeah!

Anyway, when we arrived on the Zeil, that's a long road where all the shops are, we went straight to Zara. (For those who don't know the shop, it's worth a visit! If you don't have a shop near by, on www.zara.com you find everything as well.) 

Well, once in the shop my cousin went all shopping mode and switched her shopping face on. I'm really not into shopping and it was somehow tiring but, on the other side it was really fun! Try these shorts, and oh look at those heels and isn't that shirt really cute?!? It was a little intimidating and overwhelming to be with my cousin, the shopping queen. Or one of the shopping queens among my cousins and friends. 

After three times passing the guy standing by the changing rooms he finally gave up saying "hello, how many pieces do you have?" and just waved us past everyone else. It was kind of walking on the red carpet. People waiting for there looked at us enviously when we walked by without being asked anything. Thanks to my cousin I have now a wonderful white dress in bohemian style and fawn jeans with thick black leather stripes on each side. It looks amazing and I love it already! 

Done with Zara we walked into the next shop: primark! There you find everything your heart desires, from clothing to underwear to shoes,  and decoration to costume jewellery. Really, everything you want, you find at primark. 

She dragged me in almost every single shop. Finally with the biggest shopping bags in our hands we came out of the shop.

But we weren't done so far.... What happens when you are all day long shopping? Yes, you get hungry. And me and my cousin wanted chips! The most delicious chips are at a little chips stand called "knolli" on the Zeil. I've never tasted anything like that before and every time I have the chance I get there my portion of chips. 

Anyways, just one more day until my holiday! Sorry, I couldn't help but mention it. Nice, beautiful Nice, I'm almost there! 

I'm off now, see you!

Xoxo S.

Read my mind!

I read something today that gave me a lot of thinking....

According to Bianca Kliese, a computer specialist from Berlin, there are two kinds of people you are glad about to see: one kind you are glad to see coming; the other kind you are glad to see going.

That made me think which kind I belong to. Am I someone people like to see coming? Or are they happy when I'm leaving again? 

Some people are just to difficult to deal with, even though they are nice people. Probably they just don't realise that they have their stories on repeat. Saying all day long the same tale, actually good tales to entertain and laugh about, but a repeated story nonetheless.

I don't know, maybe I'm just like one of those who don't see their failure. I hope not! I like telling stories, repeating good ones and warning about the bad jokes. Do I automatically belong to this group when I talk much? 

I have my cousin at my place and I love her. When we come together we love to gossip *wink* well, we don't really gossip, we discuss the topics. Sometimes they are on repeat but, the more you repeat them the more they get glued to the memory. That's a good thing actually because you know from the very first sentence which story they are speaking of and you already know how it ends. And you can start pretending to listen and let your mind wander. Most likely thinking about your next trip to beautiful Nice (two and half more days!!). 

Okay, I'm babbling here too much... It's a good thing I know when to stop talking nonsense and keep quiet! Have a good night! 

Xoxo S. 

Beautiful Nice, I'm coming!

Just when in Germany the weather got worse again, the temperatures are sinking, I'm going on vacation.... Guess where? We're going to beautiful Nice! And more beautiful St. Tropez and Cannes and Monaco..... 

Yeah great timing, I know! And while I'm grinning like a maniac, I can't stop counting the days and hours until I board the plane to beautiful Nice! And more beautiful St. Tropez and Cannes and Monaco! I just noticed I used a lot of exclamation marks but I have to shout at the top of my lungs that I finally have some time off. That I finally can relax.

It's not until next week that I'm leaving triste alemagne and going to jolie Nice but still... The hotel is booked, we have a rental car waiting for us and our tickets are already printed! Nothing can stop us now. Well, work is still on, so that's pulling me slightly down. I guess, I still have to be patient. Six more days ... 

Has anyone good ideas where to visit and the best look outs and things like that? I'm searching the Internet but if you have a special spot you want to share with me and my friends, don't hesitate to write me! I'll be grateful for any ideas. 

Xoxo S.

Help, the earth is paying back!

Today was as if the movies Armageddon, dooms day, apocalypse and the day after tomorrow were playing all at the same time..... Only Ben Affleck was missing. When he kissed Liv Tylor goodbye was heartbreaking, knowing that he'd probably won't be making it back. I'd just replace Liv with myself and Ben would've be giving his role to Jonathan or Ian .... Yeah, life'd be amazing, even though with the world coming to an end!

Anyways, back to my day... It was raining that heavy that I literally couldn't see further than a few meters. It was more like a waterfall pouring down the sky at that moment. People without an umbrella were drowned by the rain. Well, they didn't really drown but were quite helpless against the hopeless battle. Lightning and thunder were playing their game. It was spectacular! And it was horrible! The flights and trains were cancelled at the airport and everyone was stuck where they just ended up. Just two hours before the chaos we had almost 30 Celsius degree and were sweating like it wouldn't have an end. 

Well, to be honest, it's all our own fault! Thanks to our careless treatment to the earth and environment nature is going to take revenge. And revenge it is alright! It's coming with full force back to us, I mean the global warming. Yeah, karma is a bloody b***h (pardon my language)! 

I take pity on the coming generations; they have to deal with our great-grandparents', parents' and our mistakes. Pour kids!

Don't make them pay for the carelessness of the past generations and let them have a future (I know, I know, today I have my green day)! 

Nighty night!

Xoxo S.

Quit playin' games with my heart!

Do you remember? Backstreet boys, boyz to men, 'nsync and so on and so on.... Yes, I'm talking about boy groups from the nineties. There were lots of lots of lots of boy groups. Breaking girls's hearts and being super sweet and giving the world a meaning.

The time where boy groups actually were really boy groups and you knew the songs had some meaning (well, I know what you think now, they all talk about love and heartbreaks and things like that) but what do they sing about now? The dog of my neighbour barks at the fence, or something like that.... 

One Direction rules now the teenie world! Everywhere you look, it's about One Direction. What's that? It's going in only one direction, namely down the ladder into the stupidity. 

So sad that the new generation gets more and more stupid.

Don't get me wrong! It's not bad to have a favourite group, nor is it bad to sing senseless songs. But what is bad is that they become senseless to the world around them. They lose their touch to reality.

With twelve they get their first iPod, with thirteen they get their first iPhone, with fourteen their first iPad.... Beside One Direction, Apple rules the world. Not that that's a bad thing. Who does not have a MacBook? And to be honest, I love my iPhone and I could never work without my MacBook, ever! 

But is it really necessary  to have all these things already when you're just out of your baby shoes? No, kids nowadays don't appreciate their life and that's what is more stupid. Sadly no one cares about that.... And we're back to losing their touch to reality.

So kids and teens out there, don't let stupid people brain wash you! Appreciate your life and thank god and your parents for their grace upon you anddon't act before you haven't thought about it thoroughly. 

After spreading my wisdom to the blogger world *wink* I say good night and sleep tight! 

Xoxo S.

Silbermond (Arbeitstitel) Kapitel 16/3 - Page 1 - Wattpad

Silbermond (Arbeitstitel) Kapitel 16/3 - Page 1 - Wattpad

Boring Sundays.....

Since I can remember I hated Sundays with a passion. 

Firstly, the shops are closed on a Sunday in Germany. 

Secondly, most friends are not "available" because they have to wake up from the coma they've given themselves the night before. 

And lastly, there is not one single tv program you could watch on a boring day such as a Sunday. 

So what do I do on Sundays? I barely open my eyes. And if by chance I do open my eyes and can't go back to sleep, I read. Yes, I read the whole day. I read until it's Monday. Even though Monday is a horrible day to start the week with. Why it's not the Wednesday (it's almost as bad as a Monday) or Thursday? 

Well, we cannot change that, now can we? So today I read a lot. My favourite author at the moment is Lindsay Kelk and her super lovely "I heart..." Books. I love them and when you have some time or when you are an I-have-to-read-every-good-book-that-exists-in-the-universe-girl (or boy) then it's what you absolutely have to read. It's a must must read book!

I crawl back in my bed and read the last chapter, see you tomorrow!

Xoxo S. 

Sad sad sad....

Today I was just skipping through a few people's profiles and came across a German editor. He had shared a link about children in Afghanistan and that caught my interest. Because I'm also born there and I feel somehow connected to that deserted country, I had to read the article. Half way through the pictures I couldn't hold it anymore. My tears were streaming down my face and I could not stop crying. Why does such injustice exist? I believe in god and I believe that everything that happens is for a reason or a greater purpose. But at this point I don't see the meaning for small children and women being killed by bombs, abused and raped.

And a few minutes ago I was sitting on the sofa and complaining about something so trivial as my car is broken.....

Perhaps we should open our eyes to more important things as the ever continuing war in Afghanistan or the never ending war in Palestine. 

Xoxo S.

New Friends

Well, my last blog was about old enemies, and this one is the sequel and it is about new friends.
Don't you guys love it when you're sitting by yourselves and thinking about what to do?! Yeah I hate it, too. Yesterday night was one of those nights and I didn't have anything to do. I was sitting in front of my laptop (my new best friend) and couldn't decide if I continue writing my story "Silbermond" or if I just go to sleep. It was 1 am. Just then my phone rang. Oh great, I thought, when I picked up the phone, what now? Surprisingly it was a very pleasant call and in about 5 minutes me, my brother and some friends were sitting on the porch of our building and chatting. It was still really warm outside but with some cool drinks it was agreeable. After an hour or so everyone said their good byes and left.
My heart warmed at the feeling that I still have so amazing people around me and that I love my brother so much. Even though sometimes he drives me crazy but still, he's family.
After my advise to be polite and friendly to your enemies, now my advise towards your friends: be more polite and more friendly and give them credit for their efforts to make you happy!
The only way to have good friends is being a good friend yourself!

Xoxo S.

Old Enemies

Why do some people have so much fun in ruining everything you have built up? That's exactly my question when today old friend/ enemy called. She wanted to catch up. Apparently we haven't seen each other in forever and it would be nice to have a nice talk. Well, nice talk my a**.  Pardon my bad language but, I think she forgot how she wanted to make my life miserable and ruin my reputation. Obviously she wanted to talk about those times and rub it in my face that everyone still think her an angel. I don't think so. I know her very well; and while I was busy to find a very good excuse to ditch the tea party, she suggested more and more things to do. Watch a movie, have a coffee or do lunch the next day, sadly everything together. Thankfully my very tiring job doesn't allow me "any spare time in the next few weeks" and with that I wished her good day and disconnected the call before the acid etched my iPhone.

My advise for such friends/ haters: always be polite and friendly! With your super cool attitude you spoil their day and they can never hold it against you.

Good night, sleep tight!

Xoxo S.

Silbermond (Arbeitstitel) Kapitel 16/2 - Page 1 - Wattpad

Ihr Lieben,
mein neuestes Kapitel von "Silbermond" ist nun online! Schaut doch bitte rein und sagt, wie ihr es findet....
Silbermond (Arbeitstitel) Kapitel 16/2 - Page 1 - Wattpad

Xoxo S.